There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
