i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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