well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
