Cold hands, warm shart.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
