i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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