I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
