wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
