He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and she was petting her beer can
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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