He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
