Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
