There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She announced her abortion via fbk
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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