I feel like I'm in dance class right now
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
