So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
