Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
