420 ftw
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
