the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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