either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
