Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
