We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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