I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
