i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
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