New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
