Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize