I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Why is your signature on my underwear?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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