Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
