At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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