and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
