did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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