Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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