She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
