My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
