I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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