he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
