im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Randomize
