what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
