Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just cropdusted the office
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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