I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
