If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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