i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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