I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So here I am, sexting at work.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
