So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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