What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
