Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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