I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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