I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
