Dual....:-)
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Randomize
