I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
