Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's not a walk of shame if you run
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize