We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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