Midget sex pt 2 tonight
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
