Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
