My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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