Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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