i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
