FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
MIDGETS
????
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize