i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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