i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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