Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
